When Sex Is Painful
Frequently Asked Questions Expand All
Pain during intercourse is very common—nearly 3 out of 4 women have pain during intercourse at some time during their lives. For some women, the pain is only a temporary problem; for others, it is a long-term problem.
Pain during sex may be a sign of a gynecologic problem, such as ovarian cysts or endometriosis. Pain during sex also may be caused by problems with sexual response, such as a lack of desire (the feeling of wanting to have sex) or a lack of arousal (the physical and emotional changes that occur in the body as a result of sexual stimulation).
If you have frequent or severe pain during sex, you should see an obstetrician-gynecologist (ob-gyn) or other health care professional. It is important to rule out gynecologic conditions that may be causing your pain. Your ob-gyn or other health care professional also can help you address problems with sexual response.
The following reasons are among the most common:
- Your state of mind—Emotions such as fear, guilt, shame, embarrassment, or awkwardness about having sex may make it hard to relax. When you cannot relax, arousal is difficult, and pain may result. Stress and fatigue can affect your desire to have sex.
- Relationship problems—Problems with your partner may interfere with your sexual response. A common relationship issue is a mismatch between partners in their level of desire for sex.
- Medications—Many medications can reduce sexual desire, including some birth control methods. Many pain medications also can reduce sexual desire.
- Medical and surgical conditions—Some medical conditions can indirectly affect sexual response. These conditions include arthritis, diabetes, cancer, and thyroid conditions. Some women who have had surgery find that it affects their body image, which may decrease their desire for sex.
- Your partner—If your partner has a sexual problem, it can make you anxious about sex. If your partner is taking a drug for erectile dysfunction, he may have delayed orgasm, which can lead to long, painful intercourse.
Pain during sexual intercourse can be a warning sign of many gynecologic conditions. Some of these conditions can lead to other problems if not treated:
- Skin disorders—Some skin disorders may result in ulcers or cracks in the skin of the vulva. Contact dermatitis is a common skin disorder that affects the vulva. It is a reaction to an irritating substance, such as perfumed soaps, douches, or lubricants. It may cause itching, burning, and pain. Treatment of skin disorders depends on the type of disorder.
- Vulvodynia—This is a pain disorder that affects the vulva. When pain is confined to the vestibule (the area around the opening of the vagina), it is known as vulvar vestibulitis syndrome (VVS). There are many treatments available for vulvodynia, including self-care measures. Medication or surgery may be needed in some cases. For more information about this condition, see FAQ127 Vulvodynia.
- Hormonal changes—During perimenopause and menopause, decreasing levels of the female hormone estrogen may cause vaginal dryness. Hormone therapy is one treatment option. Using a lubricant during sex or a vaginal moisturizer also may be helpful.
- Vaginitis—Vaginitis, or inflammation of the vagina, can be caused by a yeast or bacterial infection. Symptoms are discharge and itching and burning of the vagina and vulva. Vaginitis can be treated with medication (see FAQ028 Vaginitis).
- Vaginismus—Vaginismus is a reflex contraction (tightening) of the muscles at the opening of your vagina. Vaginismus may cause pain when you try to have sexual intercourse. Vaginismus can be treated with different forms of therapy.
- Childbirth—Women who have had an episiotomy or tears in the perineum during childbirth may have pain during sex that may last for several months. Treatments include physical therapy, medications, or surgery.
- Other causes—Pelvic inflammatory disease, endometriosis, and adhesions are all associated with pain during sex.
Your medical and sexual history, signs and symptoms, and findings from a physical exam are important factors in determining the cause of your pain. Sometimes, tests are needed to find the cause. A pelvic exam or ultrasound exam often gives clues about the causes of some kinds of pain. Further evaluation, sometimes involving a procedure called a laparoscopy, may be needed.
You also may be asked about medications that you are taking, whether you have any medical conditions, and past events that may affect how you feel about sex, such as sexual abuse. Other health care professionals may be consulted for further evaluation and treatment, such as a physical therapist or a dermatologist (a specialist in diseases of the skin).
If you have pain during sex, see an ob-gyn or other health care professional. There also are some self-help measures you can try to relieve pain during sex:
- Use a lubricant. Water-soluble lubricants are a good choice if you experience vaginal irritation or sensitivity. Silicone-based lubricants last longer and tend to be more slippery than water-soluble lubricants. Do not use petroleum jelly, baby oil, or mineral oil with condoms. They can dissolve the latex and cause the condom to break.
- Make time for sex. Set aside a time when neither you nor your partner is tired or anxious.
- Talk to your partner. Tell your partner where and when you feel pain, as well as what activities you find pleasurable.
- Try sexual activities that do not cause pain. For example, if intercourse is painful, you and your partner may want to focus on oral sex or mutual masturbation.
- Try nonsexual, but sensual, activities like massage.
- Take pain-relieving steps before sex: empty your bladder, take a warm bath, or take an over-the-counter pain reliever before intercourse.
- To relieve burning after intercourse, apply ice or a frozen gel pack wrapped in a small towel to the vulva.
Adhesions: Scarring that binds together the surfaces of tissues.
Cysts: Sacs or pouches filled with fluid or other material.
Endometriosis: A condition in which tissue that lines the uterus is found outside of the uterus, usually on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and other pelvic structures.
Episiotomy: A surgical incision made into the perineum (the region between the vagina and the anus) to widen the vaginal opening for delivery.
Estrogen: A female hormone produced in the ovaries.
Laparoscopy: A surgical procedure in which an instrument called a laparoscope is inserted into the pelvic cavity through a small incision. The laparoscope is used to view the pelvic organs. Other instruments can be used with it to perform surgery.
Masturbation: Self-stimulation of the genitals, usually resulting in orgasm.
Menopause: The time in a woman’s life when menstruation stops; defined as the absence of menstrual periods for 1 year.
Obstetrician–Gynecologist (Ob-Gyn): A physician with special skills, training, and education in women’s health.
Pelvic Exam: A physical examination of a woman’s reproductive organs.
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease: An infection of the uterus, fallopian tubes, and nearby pelvic structures.
Perimenopause: The period before menopause that usually extends from age 45 years to 55 years.
Perineum: The area between the vagina and the anus.
Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI): An infection that is spread by sexual contact, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, human papillomavirus (HPV), herpes, syphilis, and human immunodeficiency virus (HIV, the cause of acquired immunodeficiency syndrome [AIDS]).
Ultrasound Exam: A test in which sound waves are used to examine internal structures.
Vagina: A tube-like structure surrounded by muscles leading from the uterus to the outside of the body.
Vestibule: The space within the labia minora into which the vagina and urethra open.
Vulva: The external female genital area.
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Published: September 2017
Last reviewed: August 2018
Copyright 2021 by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. All rights reserved. Read copyright and permissions information.
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